Back when I was in college I had a major alcohol problem. It got to a point where i was living my life waking up and drinking almost immediately and not
stopping till i passed out, then starting again. Sometimes I'd wake up and the liquor store would be closed, or I'd have no money.

...took some old keys i had and filed them down until they were similar to the impressions that I had made. The new keys I made weren't perfect, but they worked in about half of the apartment doors...

I had been given the master key for all the suites in our student residence on a job I helped a contractor do once. As soon as i got it I went and pressed it into a piece of polystyrene insulation several times,creating impressions of the key. My boss laughed and even gave me a couple of files. I took some old keys i had and filed them down until they were similar to the impressions that I had made. The new keys I made weren't perfect, but they worked in about half of the apartment doors. I couldn't get into peoples' rooms,but I could get into their common areas, including the kitchen.

So when I would run out of alcohol I and sometimes an associate of mine would go on little tours around our student residence (it was big....over 15 floors) and
take peoples' alcohol out of their fridges. I got some good shit...some absinthe, and all the major brands, plus some decent wine, needless to say beer. I must have done this over 20 times and we never got caught. We usually waited til 4 or 5 in the morning, though a few times I did it as early as 10 at night.

Once, someone started to walk into the kitchen, so I just walked out the door. People were constantly having guests over anyway, so it was hard to say if
someone belonged in an apartment or not.

Once I went to smoke with this girl i wanted to fuck. We were just getting stoned, shooting the shit, when she started to complain about the cleaning staff.

...The management in this residence was worse than i was, applying rules arbitrarily and extracting impromptu fines from foreigners they thought would just pay and shut up...

She said that they had stolen some gin out of her fridge the week before. Of course it had been me, but I didn't realize that was her fridge. Oh well. I was laughing my ass off inside, but I kept my mouth shut. I probably stole from half the building and I didn't want to stop a good thing while it was going.

I don't really feel bad about what I did. The residence management was buying its maintenance work at bottom dollar, so of course they were gonna get some crooked workers. The management in this residence was worse than i was, applying rules arbitrarily and extracting impromptu fines from foreigners they thought would just pay and shut up. Also, most of the people in there were unpleasant so I enjoyed imagining the fights i must have started from people accusing their roommates.

JJ
Toronto

Mr. Beer - Make your own beer. Easy!




Tags: college alcohol thief master key student residence absinthe wine beer liquor gin fridge crime secret story