Y esterday I wanted to punch my bank teller right in the mouth. The way she was looking at me, talking down to me. My blood pressure was already high due to the fact that it is always a song and dance when I walk in there.

...My ID is no good, my signature doesn't match, I need to answer fifty skill testing questions and so on. Always a pain in the ass to bank there...

I have been using this bank for over five years now, every two weeks I am there cashing my check. Every time I go in there, there is some sort of issue. My ID is no good, my signature doesn't match, I need to answer fifty skill testing questions and so on. Always a pain in the ass to bank there.

B ut yesterday was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. Because my signature on my driver's license was scratched off a little, they gave me a hard time. I told them that they've accepted the same ID for over three years without issue, the same signature part was stratched years ago. They argued and argued and finally accepted the ID along with three other ID cards and a series of personal questions about my account balance's, address, blood type, dna sample you name it. So I did my business and promptly closed all my accounts, frustrated with the constant bullshit.

... I walk out, but before I do I ask the all the tellers if they want to hear a joke. The whole bank stops moving...

F unny thing is, when I went to close my accounts, a new employee dealt with me, unaware of my apparent ID issues. Without question, she accepts my ID to close all my accounts.
A ll accounts closed I walk out, but before I do I ask the all the tellers if they want to hear a joke. The whole bank stops moving, both customers and tellers stop talking to listen.
I say, "You gave me such a problem about my ID when all I was trying to do was continue to do business with your bank. Yet, when I went to close my accounts and pull all my money out of your bank, my ID was suddenly not a problem."

..."I'll have to leave? Based on the way you treat customers here, you give me no choice"...

T he other customers laughed and nodded, while the tellers looked upset. The specific teller that was giving me a hard time earlier then tells me "I'll have to leave"

I respond, "I'll have to leave? Based on the way you treat customers here, you give me no choice"

I really wanted to punch her smug face right in the mouth but I've never put my hands on a woman before and this little bitch wasn't going to be the first. Ten years ago and I could have made a call and had her roughed up a little after work. She is so fucking lucky.


Name kept secret
Location kept secret


Need a laugh? Check out the Three Stooges

SNL sketches on iTunes



Tags: customer service bank teller punch mouth ID violence secret story